As I mentioned in my last post, my husband is TDY right now, which is military-speak for a business trip. I don’t envy him being in West Texas in August! Although it hasn’t exactly been roses and rainbows up here in Ohio, either. Blech.

Military Per Diem: Excuse to Spend? Or Opportunity to Save?

When John goes TDY he typically receives some kind of per diem, depending on the place and the purpose of the trip. He was rather surprised to learn that he was going to get, like, $35/day per diem for this TDY. After all, he’s attending a class on a base with a chow hall. But within 24 hours of arriving, John figured out that a lot of wining and dining is expected as part of this course: networking and all that. There goes the per diem — and then some, if you’re not careful. Right away he started thinking about how much mandatory fun he could get away with skipping out on. One other guy in the class was like-minded, so he wasn’t the only one doing the math.

But it didn’t take long for others to notice, as he wrote in an email just a couple of days after his class started:

“Ok, so today already I ducked a lunch engagement AND another dinner.  And someone asked me if I was poor.  I just said no, but some simple math told me eating at fancy restaurants twice a day for $25-30 a pop was far in excess of the $35 or so they were giving us per day.”

Knowing him, he’s paraphrasing what he actually told the guy (I’m assuming it was a guy). But these aren’t fast food restaurants these people are going to here, and they’re not sitting down and ordering off the appetizer menu and sipping ice water, either. Just the booze alone for some of these guys eats up their per diem, I’m sure. And while I’m all for going out and enjoying yourself now and then, and I totally get the professional-social networking thing…  Every Day?

Easy Come, Easy Go

His situation reminded me of a friend of mine whose (military) husband always over-spends his per diem and makes no apologies about it. He goes TDY often, and she actually factors in more spending in the budget when he’s away then when he’s home. “He’s eating steak and ordering out a few beers almost every night.” That adds up. But he feels like he works hard and so he deserves it. This is not uncommon.

There is the bit about how it costs money for them to eat when they’re in their own home, too. There is that. So it’s not like going over your per diem should break the bank, assuming you’re spending less on groceries while you’re spouse is away. But I’m just trying to keep things simple here.

John’s about half-way through his TDY now and I just ran some numbers. So far, he has spend roughly $377.13 on food. (This is not an exact calculation as I am going by his debit transactions, and all of these may not have been for food.) That averages out to about $27 a day. So he’s managed to do pretty well. Some of this was for start-up, too: he got a few grocery items to keep in his room for a few easy meals, so those dollars will of course stretch further. (Farther? I have never understood that rule.)

Of course it’s nice to “make money” when your husband goes TDY. And some manage to do that every time. But I know so many who don’t. Sometimes it’s mindless, and sometimes it’s more purposeful. I’m going to go out and enjoy myself and not worry about the cost.

How about you and yours? I know there’s a lot of military peeps out there. Does your spouse watch his spending while he’s TDY? Or is he “on vacation”? Those who aren’t military but your  spouses (or you) travel a lot for their job: is it all reimbursed? Or do business trips really wear on the budget?

There can be a lot of pressure out there, to wine and dine and schmooze and act like it’s nothing to drop $50 on a meal and a few drinks. That guy who asked John if he was poor? Oh, I’m sure he said it in a joking way, but just his asking says so much about the judgment he was making… about John, perhaps. But I’m thinking even more about how her perceives others would view him if he were to make the same choice.

***

Addendum: Thank you guys so much for your comments and input on the previous post. I plan to respond to you each individually. Alas, it is very late, and a pile of laundry is not going to fold itself and is threatening to fall on top of this laptop as I type. I will be getting back to you all shortly. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought. I sorely appreciate it.

The Hubs is a Captain in the Air Force. He was recently boarded for Major and made the cut. Yea!

This is cause for happiness on so many different levels. Yes, it is very exciting that he made the cut the first go-around. The percentage of Captains making the board in his AFSC (aka “job field”) is rather high, so we weren’t entirely surprised. But you just never know until you know. You know?

But this is especially sweet for us because once upon a time The Hubs was just a lowly peon in the enlisted ranks — in fact, we both were. (Yes, that’s how we met. *sigh*) It was a long, hard road for him to finally earn his undergraduate degree. It took the first six years of our marriage, in fact, what with all the moving around and starting over with new schools. (This was back in the 90′s, well before online degrees were so prevalent.)(And yes, we moved a lot, especially back then. Five times in six years, if you want a number.)

The Hubs comes from a career Air Force father, and uncle, and older brother, and various other brothers and relatives who have served in the military. But he was the first one in his family to actually earn a college degree. So to finally earn that degree, then be accepted into OTS (Officer Training School), and become an officer… Well, it surely felt satisfying. And at the time we thought he’d probably make Captain and then it’d be about time to retire. Becoming a major? Is really just icing on the cake.

HOWEVER. Being boarded for major and actually being promoted to major are two very different things. Or at least two very different dates.

Once the board makes its announcement, each selectee is given a line number for promotion. Just like it sounds, you have to wait your turn in line with all the rest of the promotees until your number comes up. It is not unheard of to wait almost two years to actually be promoted. John’s number is such that his promotion, or “pin-on” date, will probably be sometime in the Summer of 2010.

What this means in military terms: The Hubs is currently a major-select.

In layman’s terms: No pay raise yet, so who cares?

Apparently the Air Force does. So much so that they throw a party for you. Oh wait, excuse me. I meant to say, they compel you to throw a party for yourself. On your bill.

The Hubs warned me a couple of weeks ago that he was getting emails about this Mandatory Fun and that each major-select on his base was being asked to contribute $100, towards their own party.

Ooh-wee. That sounds like fun.

He thought he could just ignore it: it felt so much like paying for a bunch of beers for a bunch of guys he doesn’t even know for a promotion he isn’t even getting paid for yet.

But finally he just paid up. You’re just a schmuck if you don’t. He knows of others who paid who had no attention of even going to the party. But The Hubs went — at least he got dinner out of it. And I stayed home with the kids, nursing a cold, and getting ready for my parents who arrive tomorrow from out-of-State. (I finally got the luggage put away from our trip — yea, me!)

Because really, I simply don’t have any desire to attend these Mandatory Fun functions. I’ll go if it’s important to The Hubs, but it wasn’t.

Besides, when he actually gets promoted to Major? He’ll be expected to throw another party, albeit a smaller one, just for his office. Since we’ll actually be benefiting from a pay raise by then, I’ll probably feel like celebrating.