I’ve decided to start my own little mini-series on “Why We’re Homeschooling” based on personal experiences and motivations that led my family to our decision to pull our children from traditional public schools. Considering the dearth of posts around here these last months, I have no idea how often I’ll be posting on this topic. But the job I took on when I started homeschooling my children is a big reason my priorities have shifted away from this blog, which I miss terribly. So pardon me while I use you to air my thoughts and beliefs on what led me to this decision while also attempting to keep myself motivated to stay the course through our trials and errors. 

 

Some Thoughts as a New Homeschooling Mom

I have learned that when people ask me in casual conversation, “Why did you decide to homeschool?” that I need to be very diplomatic with how I frame my answer.

Our neighborhood here in California is rather unique, even for military family communities, because it is so incredibly transient. Most — and yes, I mean most — military families are in Monterey for an 18-month assignment. The ebb and flow of families moving in and out of this (mostly) military neighborhood ties in with the schedules of the two main schools the military spouses are attending. When we moved in this summer, no fewer than two other families within spitting distance moved in at the same time, and a handful more within shouting. Moving vans are a regular sighting around here.

So. Meeting new moms and finding myself in casual conversations with people I have just met is almost a daily occurrence unless I were to lock myself in a closet and refuse to come out. (Which has been tempting on more than one occasion believe me you.)

“What made you decide to homeschool?” is such a loaded question that I’ve sometimes turned it around by replying, “Why, have you thought about doing it yourself?” Which invariably leads to the response, “Oh, I could never homeschool,” to which I reply, “I know, two years ago I said the same thing.”

And then they usually don’t know what to say so we stand there in awkward silence for a moment or two until we move on to other topics, or to other people…

But sometimes they do go on to ask, “So what made you change your mind?” And I try to gauge why they’re asking. Very often they go on to answer their own question with a laugh, “Did you find out you were moving to California and figure out how bad the schools were?” Which is, yes, a part of it. But difficult for me to say when your children are going to those same schools unless you point it out first.

If they stand there and continue to look me in the eye and wait expectantly for a thoughtful answer, I’ve taken to bringing it back to me and my family by answering, truthfully, that “The reason was actually quite different for each of my children.”

Some people might say they homeschool strictly for academic reasons. Some for spiritual. Many for a combination of the two, and I would generally fall in that camp. Although I would argue that the two, truly, cannot be separated.

Why do you want your child to receive an excellent academic education? Why do you want your child to be grounded spiritually and to ultimately know and pursue and develop their purpose?

What if you did everything you possibly could to ensure that your child had access to the best academic instruction, the most encouraging learning environment, and all the freedom you could afford for your child to explore their interests and passions… and your son went on to drop out of college and move back home while he “figured out what he wanted to do”? Or your daughter decided to get married and devote her talents to her family and raising her children despite those excellent SAT scores and that college degree that cost so much money? Would you rest assured that they were seeking God’s purpose for their lives? Or that they were frittering away their potential or taking the easy way out?

I’ve often heard the comment (as recently as yesterday, in fact), “Oh, you’re so brave for homeschooling.” But I’m not. I’m tired and I’m working hard to figure out how to do this and will never stop trying to do this as best I can so long as we’re doing it at all. How is that different from parents whose kids attend public school? None of the homeschooling parents I have met proclaim to have all the answers. Or if they do then another child of theirs comes along and changes all the questions. I would say, though, that mainly? All of us are willing to look for answers in places that can’t always be found in traditional brick-and-mortar schools.

Homeschooling doesn’t guarantee your child will have the best education no more than going to church guarantees your child will develop a personal relationship with their Lord and Savior and grow into a kind and loving adult. Public (or any other) school doesn’t grant you a waiver from working hard to ensure your child receives a good education so you can focus solely on their spiritual guidance. (Likewise, enrolling your child in a private Christian school doesn’t mean you can wash your hands of both, though sadly, I know families who seem to think so.)

My kids are 16, 8 and 6, and they all attended public school (in various states and even countries) until last year. And I can personally attest that there’s a reason that the best public schools are the ones with the most parental involvement. Sending your kids off to school is not exactly a walk in the park — unless you’re “brave” and can rest assured that the professionals have it all covered. Even then, your child will come home with homework that you may or may not understand; a thousand permission slips to sign or otherwise make decisions about; and requests from the school for your much-needed time and money and talent. And once your child reaches middle school and above you both are adjusting to working with several different teachers and teaching methods, homework guidelines, projects, and grading systems… and those are just some of the many academic considerations.

I find it very difficult to pigeon-hole an answer to why I decided to start homeschooling my three children — yes, “Even the high schooler??” But in future posts I will attempt to articulate reasons for that choice. And because I wasn’t kidding earlier that some of the exact reasons differ for each child, I’ll probably talk about one child at a time. So for those of you with the burning question, “Why did you decide to start homeschooling your high schooler??” when high school is often the time long-term homeschoolers stop homeschooling, rest assured, I’ll attempt to answer that question. It may surprise some of you.

If Olivia and Peter’s swimming lessons were outdoors, I’d wager about half of the sessions would have been rained out by now.

You ever have the feeling that the summer is almost over when it’s just begun? Seasoned parents know that we need to be on the ball with planning out programs and trips or they just won’t happen. Thing is, having the whole summer planned out feels so… structured. So unsummer-like. I think it’s because, as kids, it felt so free just to be of school with no strict bedtime or way-early mornings. The summer felt like it stretched out before us like a never-ending story.

But of course, our parents knew the ending. And all the scenes and plot twists that came before it. I’m just so glad that I don’t have to work outside the home like my mom always had to, trying to figure out who was going to watch the kids during the days this year, just counting the weeks until we all got to go on our annual summer vacation and I could sit and read my book in the sun.

Not much sun here, but I’m not complaining: I do love the rain. And we have at least one trip planned this summer to go see family in Kansas where I will get more than my fill of heat and humidity. Before and after our trip(s) in July, Kansas and elsewhere, the kids are somewhat busy with a sundry of activities: swimming; karate; t-ball; school (yes, school!); and tennis camp.

Not all of that is even for Olivia, though she’d like it to be. (You want to do tennis camp? You’ve never even held a racket!) (We are holding off on her for now; the camp’s for her older brother.)

I decided it’d be a worthy and educational exercise (albeit somewhat scary) to run the numbers on…

How Much Our Kids’ Activities are Costing Us This Summer:

*drum roll*

A total of $960!

Breakdown:

• Karate (for two kids): $450
• Swimming lessons (two kids): $76
• Dance Camp (two days) (guess which kid?): $45
• Summer School (high school history credit for Conner): $115
• T-ball (two kids): $70
• Tennis Camp: $150

I hesitated including t-ball in there because the season started in April and I actually paid for it in February. But it bleeds into the summer, so there you go. Even though the games keep getting rained out…

I do not regret any of these activities, or the cost required to keep them up. (Although John gasped a little when he saw the figure for Karate).

How’s your summer faring? Kids got at your pockets? (What’s the damage?) Or are you managing a summer of purely frugal fun instead?

Conner and I were talking about signing him up for summer school well before we had any idea we’d be moving this year instead of next. We look at it as him getting a head start on earning credit required to graduate high school: I figure the half credit toward history will count in California as well as here in Ohio. It’s kind of the thing to do here, summer school. It’s not just remedial, though you do find students there for that as well.

Musings on Homeschooling

I am still thinking and all but set on homeschooling after we move. Lately the discussion has circled around whether I should homeschool all the kids right away or just start with Conner. I just worry that, if I don’t start with the little ones from day one, it’ll just be too easy to leave them where they are, unless we’re absolutely hating it. The elementary school they would attend actually gets good ratings, and is spoken well of by parents. The thing is, the more I have been reading and researching and otherwise learning about homeschooling, the less I am looking at it from a purely academic standpoint…

It’s also interesting to me how much the cost of homeschooling can vary, depending on your approach: whether you purchase curriculum; and whether it’s new or used; how much you rely on the library; and what you actually count as school.

Because those activities up there? I’m seeing lots of possibility for school credit. Yes, mostly for P.E. (it is summertime) or otherwise electives. But what about those music classes that you sign your kids up for anyway? Or that pottery class? Or those visits to the history museum? Aren’t those educational? If you homeschool, do you count those as part of the cost even though they’re activities your kids would be doing anyway?

The time and flexibility available to homeschoolers to do even more outside activities is a major appeal to me. Indeed, I actually worry about Olivia, in particular, having time to dabble in all of her interests that this young girl already proclaims: dance; music; karate; art… And those are just from this week. When kids are in school all day, it’s just too much for them to do more than one or two “extra-curricular” activities at a time. When you homeschool, these activities become part of their school.

I probably should have made this a separate post. I’m sure this won’t be the last you hear from me on this. Any thoughts or input of your own? Any homeschoolers out there? Anyone? Anyone?

(Go ahead [Bueller], you know you want to say it.)

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