My husband’s TDY* in Texas this month HELLO CAN YOU SAY HOT? I DO NOT ENVY HIM and I wish I could blame his absence on my inability to post regularly but I can’t. I love this blogging thing, I really do! And I especially love all of you guys who take the time to share your two-bits in the comments, it keeps me going. It really does! I go about my day(s) and think of so many post ideas and things (I think are) worth sharing… and I actually write out about maybe ten percent of them…
Successful bloggers will write posts in advance, with a couple-half-dozen ready in their back pocket to pull out on days they don’t have time to write. I’ve tried to do that, I really have. So far, to no avail. Oh, I could blame the kids, this house, the heat, the price of oil… But other bloggers — serial posters — have those same things and more and still manage to crank out quality posts day after day, hour after hour. What’s their secret? Do they all get up at the crack of dawn? Write until 2:00 am? Lock their kids in a closet? Write really fast?
Actually, they probably do. (Except the closet thing, I hope.) They’re more organized. They’re more driven. They don’t watch TV. They’re better at managing their time and sticking to a routine.
I’m not good with routines.
I’m going to put myself out there with you all and go ahead and just ask: Why do you come back to this blog? What drew you in in the first place? What is it that enticed you to subscribe? (If that’s how you’re reading this.) Or to bookmark this site and then check it right now? Why have you read this far? Is it the numbers and balance updates? The stories? The other commenters? What do you find here that makes you come back for more? Is it just the networking? (Be honest!) What *gasp* disappoints you? What do you wish there were more of? (How’s that for a dangling preposition?) What do you think this blog is about?
I am bound and determined to take this blog up to the next level. I am. There, I said it. Is that greedy of me? That you guys aren’t all I want? Because I puffy heart you guys, I do. I go into my statcounter and try to see who the commenters are and wonder about the reader from California/Canada/Tennessee/Australia and what brought them here. Especially the ones who don’t comment: what is their story? Do they have debt? Is their spending out of control? Do they simply love to read others’ personal finance stories to help keep them motivated to continue on their frugal and fruitful path? Or do they just like to be snoopy? (Okay, I suppose all of us who read blogs like to be snoopy to some extent…)
But I want more of you. I do. I want to understand why you’re here and what I’m doing that resonates with you and what I’m doing that bores you to tears. I want others to come and share their stories and comments so that we can all learn and share from each other and root each other along in this extremely personal world of… personal finance, and the choices we make with our money. I truly, sincerely believe that our society as a whole would benefit if the subject of personal finances weren’t so taboo. If we could make our mistakes and learn from them with each other without feeling ashamed. If we could reap the benefits of hard work and good choices and celebrate together without feeling guilty for our success.
I humbly ask you to share with me what it is about this particular blog that you connect with, and what it is that you would improve or add to it. You are the best ones to help me on a road to improving what I believe is A Good Thing and I’m shamelessly asking you to give your opinion on what is already good and what could make it better. I thank you in advance.
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
I read your blog for inspiration, for a dose of reality and for practical tips for keeping my budget under control. I also think of you and your blog whenever I get whiny about having to watch my dollars (or heck, even my pennies) and I realize that other people are doing it successfully, and I can, too!
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jolyn Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 8:37 am
For inspiration, now those are some great words, aren’t they? I’m so glad you can find some here. I do appreciate you coming by with your two-bits.
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I think I found you through $5 dollar dinner mom. I loved the name of your blog, and I keep coming back because I like your writing style, your humor and your subject content. While not a military family, we are a family with 2 kids trying to budget, cut costs and still have fun! And most of all, I’m comfortable here. You make everyone feel included and welcome. It’s nice
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:12 am
Thank you so much, Jaime! I love the part you said about feeling comfortable and welcome. I’m so glad you told me that b/c that’s such an important point and something I would hope that everyone would feel. Finances are a touchy enough subject without people getting all snarky about it.
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I would never miss my daughter’s blog. I’m very proud of her.
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:13 am
Aw, shucks, mom. I should be typing this in red.
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I’m another one of those where I’m not sure how I found you exactly but I did. The first post I read was the one you did on July 21 about avoiding overdraft fees. Not only am I on the “Dave Ramsey diet” (as I so lovingly call it) but I work in a bank and this is a HOT topic right now.
I really enjoyed that post and reading the comments you got from others… You even visited my blog and asked about my roof repair job (which made me happy – I often feel visitor-less!).
Anyways, I come back because you’ve got good stuff. We aren’t military (although I sometimes think if my husband’s childhood had been different we would be – he has an old eye injury that prevented him from joining) but we face a lot of the same questions as you do (or so it seems).
So – I saved you in my favorites after that first visit and try to come check you out every few days or so. I even did a quick blurb about you on my blog – to share that I’d found you with the few people that do visit me! http://savingandsharing.blogspot.com/2010/08/found-another-blog-i-like-i-had-to.html
Keep up the good work – you do good work.
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:15 am
Thanks so much, Casie! Did you coin the “Dave Diet” phrase? I don’t remember hearing that before, and it’s a good one. How are you guys faring on it? I’ll try to keep checking back on your blog — it’s so hard to keep up with the reading, isn’t it! Especially when you work full-time, I imagine. I’m so glad you took the time to read and comment on mine. This really helps me to stay motivated.
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I found you from your other blog, A Military Family.
I like coming here because I’m on the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Program too. I’m a military spouse, dear hubby just got promoted this year, we have a son with speech issues, and we have a rental home too. We have a lot in common with you all!
Plus, I like your humor and honesty.
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:17 am
Tonya,
I can’t remember if I knew you had a rental as well. Where is it, may I ask? I do hope DH and I can take FP someday. But first we both have to be in the same place long enough to find one.
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I like your blog because it is similar to mine! Your blog is relatively small, and you seem like a normal person. My blog is relatively small, and I consider myself a normal person. Your blog posts don’t sound SUPER polished like they could end up in WSJ or something, and I like that. I like people to sound REAL in their blog, and you do a good job!:)
I also like the military aspect your bring to things, as I am in the Navy myself.
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:18 am
Normal! Ha! I wish my posts could be more “polished”. I guess if I spent more time crafting and revising …
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Hi!
i came across you a while ago, probably through PW although i can’t specifically remember. I added you to my blog reader that very day and haven’t turned back! I too am a Ramsey-plan person, and i really appreciate your frankness with your budget updates. I have enjoyed learning more about military-family stuff (as it’s not an area i really knew anything about!) and i have also enjoyed your writing style. Your stories are great! I don’t have much in common with your family (save for budgetary philosophy!) as I am a 30-years old and single, living by myself in Michigan.
Thanks for sharing your life, and keep at those goals!! 
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:21 am
I love that you find something here for you while you’re in such a different place in your life than I am! PW? You’re not the first to say that, and I can’t even remember the last time I went to her blog! Although I love her, God bless that woman. Thank you so much for your comments. It really helps keep me going. I don’t mention it usually, but readers’ comments are like crack, and the thoughtful ones are addictive and motivating. I love to know that others are out there, keeping it real and doing the best they can. Thanks for reading.
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Im not sure how I found you, but I keep coming back for the realisim is that a word your real you seem honest and I enjoy reading about your journey to be debt free. Im a young married mother of two we dont own a home and we are still figuring out how to live a debt free life so your encouragment is your blog. It can be done.
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:23 am
Oh, Andrea. People like you are who I think of when I sometimes wonder if it really matters whether I put all this out there. Yes, it can be done. Keep reading and keep learning — not just from here, mind you. There are so many resources all over the internet, and fellow commenters can also be so inspiring. I’m glad you’re along for the ride.
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I believe I got to your blog from Pioneer Woman, and book marked it after noting many similiarities in lifestyle. I am older than you, but know the life experiences that you write about:
military, Dave Ramsey, moving, having a rental house, children(4, though all grown now). We have had the same discussions in the past about extra activities for the kids years ago and came to the discision of 1/child at a time as Mom had limited funds and time for runing. I knew the isolation of being alone for weeks at a time while husband was gone somewhere. Most all of your topics resonate with our life, though we are past by a decade or more. My husband is retired now, but I remember well the experiences you write about. I think I live vicariously through young family’s blogs. Those were fun days, busy days, always filled with kid topics. Now I enjoy our 4 grandgirls, soon to be 5! .
About the TDY money, most of the time my husband tried to avoid spending much, could be happy with one meal out/day, and we used it as “catch-up” money to pay for something unplanned. He didn’t usually have the pressure to eat with everyone else.
KEEP writing, enjoy it and check nearly every day to see what new topics you have.
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:27 am
This TDY is the most pressure to eat out my husband has experienced; it’s like it’s a part of the class. Seriously- even though there’s a cafeteria on base, they still get per diem. I love that you’ve been there, done that. Someday I will be, too, and I do try to enjoy all of this and savor every moment. Though I could do without the stress of trying to sell a house.
Do you still have your rental? Women like me can learn so much from those like you who have come before us. Ever thought of starting a blog? 
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I have your site bookmarked and go to it regularly. I love your “keeping it real” style. I am looking for inspiration for raising kids, marriage, pinching pennies, and making the most of my time in these pursuits.
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:28 am
Thanks so much for your input, Sherry. I hope to do more of the same, and then some. Please feel free to comment in the future about any more topics you would like to see more of!
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I think I was first drawn to the name of your blog. Very cool & original. I follow a few financial blogs & I like that you are a woman, a Mum and you are honest. We are slowly getting somewhere with our debt – but we have a long way to go. I dream of the day my husband lets me sell his car to reduce our debt.
Keep writing.
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jolyn Reply:
August 28th, 2010 at 12:30 am
Ah, yes. Men and their cars. Have I ever mentioned that we used to have three of them? No? Hmm… I think that’s a topic I’ve overlooked. I might need to remedy that. My husband sold his “toy” when we moved overseas a few years ago. I was so glad for an excuse to get rid of that time and money sucker. Whoops- did I just say that out loud?
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I found you (believe it or not) when I Googled for school room organizing. I still remember I bookmarked your blog with that picture of your bookshelf for a long time before I RSS you.
I keep coming back because you make me feel comfortable. I like “talking” with you. Your monthly debt snowballing report was what kept me reading (you are keeping that one in your next make over blog right?). And of course your title is easy to remember and I like the blog banner you have. The biggest thing is probably because my oldest son had moved out of the state serving in the AF and I like knowing what other military wives has to endure while their husbands are on duty far away. Then there is also your style of writing I really enjoy. I know I have not commented much lately because I have been extremely busy this summer for some reasons. I could only zip through my favorite blogs and try to keep up writing my own. LOL!!!
What next level are you taking your blog to? Are you going to make money from blogging? I know a lot of bloggers became “business bloggers” after a while. I am not sure how I think of that. Personally, when I see blogs like that it feels very business like to me. Then again, it is just my own opinion.
I hope we would get a chance to meet up if you do end up moving soon. Remember, your Starbuck is on me!
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I am on this “get financially sound” journey with you, so it sparks ideas when I read what you write. Thanks.
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I just discovered your site a few weeks ago and bookmarked it because I love your writing style and humor. I also love personal finance blogs with an emphasis on “personal”. I haven’t read long enough to tell you what I love or would want more of, but keep up the great sense of humor and I’ll read as long as you decide to post.
In regards to bloggers that post all the time (like me), yes, I do have posts scheduled about a week or two in advance at all times, but I wouldn’t think it’s because I’m especially organized or anything (and I definitely have not given up tv – Criminal Minds and The Big Bang Theory are my crack but my secondary addiction seems to be 20 hours of other tv shows a week).
I find or create 2-3 hours a week that are open just for writing and I write – usually that’s enough time for 3-4 posts minimum. Ideas are my biggest problem (I write out about 70% of what I think of as opposed to your 10%…feel free to send some of those ideas my way, lol). Usually that’s Sunday afternoon for me, but any 2-3 hour window would work (a late night on Saturday, or even waking up earlier during the week). The other 3-4 posts are usually written as I go (one every day or two) when I get motivated enough to write out an idea. I have to post in advance or I wouldn’t post at all – the stress of always having to write would completely kill the fun of blogging…
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I enjoy reading about your dedication to paying down debt while still being realistic and enjoying life–and finding frugal ways to do so! There are others I know of who get a little wacky (read: sell everything, even investments, and eat beans only) when trying to get rid of debt. I think it is important to make good memories along the way, and I think you do a good job of balancing the two goals of paying down debt and taking care of yourself and your family. And you keep an eye to the importance of retirement and investments. It can be hard for me to deny the fun I could have with some extra cash, but saving for retirement is so much better in the long run. Thankfully my husband reminds me of this.
I am inspired by your mothering of a little brood of kids. I just have one so far and get overwhelmed sometimes, it’s nice to know raising more kids can be done. Also, I cheer for you as you go solo when your husband is deployed or away. You really value taking care of him even from a distance, and I find that refreshing.
My husband and I have the bills divided up and I have a set amount of income to work with every month. One of my contributions to paying down our debt is trying to stay on budget with household expenses, so I don’t have to take from savings or extra debt payments to cover overages. This is such a challenge. I have really been tweaking my household budget over the last few months. I am at the point where I enter every expense into a spreadsheet so I can see where the money is going during the month. It’s been getting better, but it is still a work in progress to stay on budget and feed my family and have detergent to wash all the laundry.
And for what it’s worth, the title of your blog, “Budgets Are the New Black,” is really catchy. It was one of the things that first drew me in to reading and subscribing.
Keep up the good works!
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Because you are a military wife like my youngest daughter and you are funny! (and real).
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I stumbled upon your blog…I don’t remember. Maybe you commented on mine first actually? I’m not sure. I like your sense of humor and the good reads. I am in a very different life stage from you (single, no kids, live in California), but I still like reading your blogs for the most part. To be honest, the ones about selling your home are so far from where I’m at (I’m renting and dream about buying a home eventually…selling is SO far off my radar). But I’m sure there are others that relate to that.
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I don’t remember how I came across your blog last year but I’m soooo happy I did. Like you, we too are on the “Ramsey” plan. We have 5 children ( including a teen) so your home life is similar to ours. 5 kids who are tired of the “Ramsey” plan and sick of hearing the word “NO”. Our friends and family don’t understand why we want to be out of debt, mortgage and all. It’s not normal. So you keep us inspired when you post a great thrift store find, receipe for refried beans or even your latest snowball numbers. Your sense of humor about it all takes your blog to another level. Thats why your on our favorites bar!
Thanks for keeping it real and funny.
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I came originally because we are in debt and I was looking for websites with saving money/budgeting ideas. I come back because you seem ‘real’. You have family (as do I), your stories are sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always believable. You actually put your debt numbers up – something I would be terrified to do. My family is not military, not owning two homes, and not living in the USA – but it still feels like I can relate. Keep it up!
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Let’s see….why do I come back???
Your writing style is similar to mine….telling a story about our lives. The struggles of day to day life with husbands and kids. And those curveballs!!!
I love knowing that 1) I am not alone, 2) someone else is struggling to figure it all out too, 3) you aren’t preachy about what you do. If you mess up, you admit it. If you did great, then you admit that too!
I love that you don’t have it all figured out, and that is a-ok!
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I forget how I first came across your Blog, the original, before Budgets. The reason I came back and continue to do so is: your sense of humor, practical but enjoys some frills approach to life – and the balancing thereof, I’m a ‘retired’ CPA so am drawn to finance/budgeting side, you write well, topic is great and I think a HUGE percentage of the population could learn a LOT from the military spouses of our Nation who move around the world/country and balance family budgets accordingly and the faith that comes through.
Blog on!
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I really enjoy your blog! You make me laugh. I try to surround myself with like-minded people regarding finances. I live in Wichita so it is cool to have a Ks connection. My friend Michele sent the question in about military renting vs buying a house so I appreciate your help with that. I use to read the “leaving excess” blog and then she stopped blogging. (that made me sad) We all have struggles and it is great to be able to share them. Keep up the good work. I think we would be great friends if we lived close to each other.
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I came to your blog when I was blog hopping one day. I think you may have had a post somewhere else. I love so many things about your blog:
1- I LOVE the way you write. You are so funny and even though I’m reading your words, I feel like I”m sitting down with you at a table and we are talking heart to heart.
2- I love how real you are in discussing your budget and spending. It helps me to feel like I”m not the ONLY one who has financial worries and concerns. My husband and I went through the Dave Rasmey program earlier this year. We have a mortgage on our home and it is an ARM. We are praying for wisdom as to what to do with our home. We are fine right now…making our payments, but I just don’t see our current situation as one we can stay in for many more years to come. I see that you have mortgage debt and I’m curious to see how you get through it and what choices you make.
3- I love it when you post Good Reads…you have directed me to some great blogs that I wouldn’t have found otherwise and it helps me to see that there are many on my debt freedom path.
4- I like your posts like “How much did you spend on the 4th?” I like knowing where I compare to others…am I way overboard, or am I about the same? It is interesting to me to know this information and see what life is like in other parts of the country.
5-I like hearing about your military husband and your life as a military family…you make so many sacrifices. It helps me when I start throwing a pity party for myself to say, “Suck it up”.
Keep up the great work! I don’t always comment…actually, I rarely do unless something really moves me to do it…but I check your blog at least 2-3 times a week…sometimes more when I have more time.
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I was initially drawn here by your comment on another blog, I believe. I come back because I can relate to you as a real, down to earth woman. I think we have a fair amount in common, even if you are (way) younger than I. I love that you make mistakes, and own them. I enjoy the style of your writing, and your mission. I think that we would be friends in the “real world.”
And honestly? I think you post at just the right intervals. Just enough to keep us wanting more.
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I found you through pioneer woman or maybe through simple dollar(?) I can’t quite remember, but it was at about the same time my husband and I began our own Dave Ramsey adventure. I really enjoy knowing that there are other people out there doing the same thing as us, just trying one day at a time to get through our debt, to spend our money wiser, and start saving/preparing better for the future. We really don’t have many people around us who share these new ideals with us, so even if you are out there in interwebsland, I will take it. Your blog provides support, encouragement, tips, the struggles, the triumphs and humor that all of us on the debt crushing journey need. Keep it up! I love reading!
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Hi
I don’t remember who i found you through, but you were featured on another blog i believe & then i hopped on over here & was hooked, subscribed immediately. My husband and i are young & have no children yet( not that the parents dont ask…lol), and we both have about 3 credit cards each & one retail card(just paid off one 
) We’ve been through multiple properties like you guys. We bought our condo right after the market started to come down, which then was a great deal cause our mortgage payment was the same as rent, n everyone said its was better to own cause atleast when you leave you can get whatever equity you had out of it… hahahaha… here we are 2-3 years later its worth 55k & we owe 105…yea…. Well, we made the best of it. It was a one bedroom condo & one day by accident we found out that houses in our are were going for ridiculously low. We realized that if we didnt try to buy now, that yes eventually the market would come around & we could sell the condo, but by then we wouldn’t be able to afford any of the houses we wanted. So we found a renter & started the long process of buying our house we currently live in. All of this said, like i mentioned we are young & are pretty financially sound or so we thought, till we started to take a deeper look at our spending,savings & debt. I mean we’ve never been behind on anything, but we certainly weren’t getting ahead on any of it either. So we had been trying to tackle our debt & build savings for a couple of years now. So that’s my story at least. I guess i really like your blog cause you have kids & you still do all this. I know its kinda silly to think that having them would change your financial habits that much, but at the same time it really does, so i guess it just gives me hope that its still possible w/ kids & i really like that you admit when you have to go into minimum payment mode. Cause i know we have those times too & at the time you just feel like you;re failing, but its nice to see others just pick up & keep going & we;re all human, n that doesn’t make you a failure at all. I know i don’t get to comment much really, so for that i apologize, but i really do like you blog & read it loyally 
Hope this is what you asked for & that i didn’t ramble too much. 
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You are a funny writer! That’s the first reason I enjoy reading you. And we all have issues/problems/stresses with budgeting and finances, so when I read you and other blogs, I know that I am not alone. I have enjoyed when you do a series of posts on a certain topic, or come across a question that generates a lot of reader feedback. I also like the “homework” assignment ones. And I think you have one of the catchiest blog names around. I don’t know anything about blogging, but we have all to schedule and prioritize certain things into our days, so maybe having more structure in your week would help with keeping up on posting as well as having several waiting in the wings.
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jolyn Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 9:06 am
Nikki,
I wish I could take the credit for the blog title, but I have to admit I got the idea from another article. I’ve been meaning to write about that sometime…
Thanks so much for your comments and suggestions. Structure is not my forte! But I do thrive once I’m in it. So here’s to hoping.
I guess I still have a ways to go with that whole “structure” thing.
I love the reader feedback myself. To me, that’s the real joy from blogging. Thanks so much for joining in.
Any ideas yourself on future “homework” assignments? School has started now, you know.
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It is like I am reading my own story…minus the military husband and mortgages. You are real. You make mistakes with your debt pay down. You are honest about what is happening to you. You also enjoy life. It shows that you enjoy your life.
I tried to blog recently about being a greiveing parent. I guess I am not so ready to post regularly. I would think of things to write and then get too side tracked by other diversions on the way to writing.
I will blog again someday. I enjoyed the 6 posts that I made to my own blog. However inadequate that now sounds.
Keep on going!! Both with the blog and the debt reduction.
I could imagine that you and I could sit down and have some good chats about life. If you find yourself in Tucson, AZ….stop by for some tea or coffee and desert (If my grocery/food budget will allow…maybe dinner!).
Karen
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jolyn Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 8:52 am
Oh, Karen, thanks so much for your kind words. And yes, your blogging about grieving would be a wonderful way to cope and find others who are going through the same thing. We all have a story to share. It really made my day for you to say that this blog shows that we enjoy our lives. We do! But I’d never thought about that shining through on here, so thank you.
And maybe I would take you up someday about some coffee in Tuscon? It’s been awhile since I’ve been in that part of the country, but you never know! This is, indeed, a small world we live in. I’m so glad you stop by my little corner of it.
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I love your honestly and that you’re willing to share your success and not-so-much- success with money. We’re trying to become debt free so reading other peoples triumphs and challenges helps me to feel ‘normal’ and not give up!
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jolyn Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 8:45 am
Oh, yes, never give up. That would never do, would it? I do like to think this is one place where people can come and see how a “real” family is just living and doing the best we can with our finances, while still enjoying our lives. Thanks so much for your comments.
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Honestly, the title was what drew me here. I love it.
I follow because we have similar goals.
Stacy
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jolyn Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 8:43 am
So funny, Stacy, about the title: I’ve been meaning to explain where I got it! I’ll have to get around to that post one of these days…
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Hooray!! Excellent ask a question post.
My favorite post you did was calculating what summer activities cost. I liked that it forced me to look at my finances and sort them out. I’d like more homework. A virtual kick in the pants to keep track of our monies.
As they say-solve your readers problem. My problem is losing interest in budgeting.
I just did problogger’s 31 days to build a better blog, there was a lot of valuable info. His blog is great too. I’ve also been reading Mars Dorian, great stuff.
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Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli Reply:
August 15th, 2010 at 8:30 am
I had a lot more to say so I sent you an email.
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I was drawn to your blog because of your honesty about your Debt and your Goals to get out of it! It has been very encouraging to me and I love reading your blog!!
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jolyn Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 8:40 am
Thanks, Grits Girl, for you comments! I’m so glad you can find some encouragement here!
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