Our recent dilemma with our 13yo has been how to answer this question. Over the years we have gone back and forth on it, mostly being fickle and inconsistent not only about how much to allot but whether to even give an allowance at all.
I never had an allowance growing up. Neither did my husband. Thus, no personal experience with an allowance system. Both of us have a real problem with “paying” our son to do chores around the house — something he is assuring us “all the other parents” do. We firmly believe that kids should help around the house because that is part of being a family and part of a household.
That being said. I have been going crazy with all the nickle and dime questions: Can I go to the movies? Can I have a couple of dollars for lunch? Can I have an iPhone?? Can I Can I Can I???
An iPhone? Times, they are a changing. Call me old school, but I will never consider an iPhone a necessity, for me or for my kids. It’s that contagious sense of entitlement that gets me all bent out of shape.
I finally drew up a system to start giving Conner an allowance. A guinea pig system, to be sure. But at least it’s a start. I just wrote this out and gave it to him this week:
Conner’s Allowance Guidelines
Conner Budgets Allowance For…
- Savings and Charity
- Gifts
- Clothing and shoes
- Entertainment (movies, etc.)
- Lunches bought at school
- Snacks and drinks out and about
- Electronics, etc., for yourself (incl. cell phone use)
- Other toys and wants, including souvenirs on vacation
Parents Still Provide and Budget For…
- Groceries (incl. for lunches)
- Electronics for family
- Eating out with whole family
- Vacations with whole family (but not souvenirs)
- Music lessons and needed supplies
- Sports, academics, and required school activities (not entertainment) and supplies within reason
Chores are part of being part of a family and a household. You will not be compensated for everyday chores. You are expected to help around the house as asked and assigned.
If you do not complete a chore you are assigned, you are required to pay the person who completed it for you. Prices and chores may change but start as follows:
- Mowing — What you owe someone else if who does it for you: $20
- Other yard work — What you owe someone else who does it for you: $5+
- Dishes, etc. — What you owe someone else who does it for you: $5
- Dusting and cleaning your room: $5
- Other chores as assigned TBD (To Be Determined)
Parents have executive authority and the final say in any changes.
The question still remained: How much? The Hubs and I decided that it would certainly be easier to raise it than lower it. We’re starting it at $30/month. I will pay in cash on a monthly basis.
Wish us luck!
Any thoughts? Questions? Suggestions? Please, do tell.
For more fun questions and to add your own, go to “Aloha Friday” on An Island Life.
**Update**
Right as we started this, I told Conner that he lucked out because we had just gotten him set for summer: new shorts; new flip flops; new (to him) T-Shirts. About two days later he tells me, “Oh yea, my tennis shoes are too small.” Apparently they had been for awhile, but I told him since I can’t read his mind and this was the first I’d heard of it, guess what that meant? Hello, budget! He was a little chagrined, but he didn’t protest a bit. I said, “Just let me know when you’re ready for me to take you shopping.”
(And don’t forget your cash;)
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We are just starting a commission sheet with my 6yo. He’s so excited to start earning up to $10 per month. So far, though, he hasn’t earned very much because he keeps forgetting to do his jobs. This first weekly “payday” will be a shock to him when he only earns about 50¢ instead of $2.50 because he owes fines and didn’t do the work!
Neither my husband nor myself ever earned an allowance, but I think that our son needs to learn how to manage money at a young age. Plus, he is more thankful, more helpful, and more understanding of where money comes from!
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jolyn Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Ditto to everything you said. I totally agree! We only have so much time with our kids before they’re out in the unforgiving world. Starting at 6 is very impressive! One goal I have for 2010 is to start a workable allowance system for my 6 (almost 7) and 5yo. But the only thing worse than starting later with your kids is to never start at all! Here’s to the next generation having more financial sense than… say, our government.
Oh, no. I went there;)
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Have you set up a bank account for Connor to deposit his savings into? By not putting in the bank makes it even more accessible for spending. There are several banks – even ones online that you can sign him up for and will help teach him about banking.
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No Allowance here yet. Personally. I feel as a family we are to help each other out. And I was never paid to do chores. We might start something up in a year or so. But still not sure. When my kids start showing they can do the chores without being repeatedly asked to lol.
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Well said, Hubs! I think you should guest post on here sometime! (Or start your own blog!)
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Well, regarding the iPhone thing, etc. . . . what we're trying to teach here is that the money has to come from somewhere, and not every family is in the same situation. Still, I'm sure some families are getting their kids whatever they want even if it hurts the bottom line. You do not have an automatic right to expensive junk just because some kid from another family shows up at school with it. Like Jolyn said, some of these kids have stuff I don't have!
So, does Conner really need an iPhone? Definitely not. If a 38 year-old military officer can't justify the expense, how on earth would a 13 year-old?? So, he gets to budget. And learn that trying to keep up with the Jones' in school comes at a price. Will he really want that iPhone when he sees that it will have an opportunity cost of something else he can't get if he does? Maybe. It'll be interesting to see.
Either way, if he gets an iPhone and breaks it, that will be a sad day. And we will be behind him 100% if he wants to start budgeting to buy a replacement.
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I think your idea is wonderful. I do give my 8yo an her allowance if her chores are done everyday. On Fridays, I will give her $15 and she gets to go skating. If she doesnt go skating, she saves it for the following week. I think that your idea will be something that we will consider once she gets a bit older!
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"Jerilyn",
I was waiting for someone to come to Conner's defense! Don't worry, we won't let him run around in rags. We started at the lower end because it is easier to raise an allowance than lower it. Remember, though, that he will continue to receive gifts and cash as gifts for his birthday, Christmas, etc.
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I can tell you that if has to buy all his clothing and shoes $30/month is not going to do it. It would take two months of allowance (no snacks, eating out, entertainment, giving, gifts etc.) to save for one pair. Unless you're talking used, which is not always a good idea when they get to be that age – feet are very important.
One thing I would implement is this: when you give him the cash he puts 10% in a special place (box, envelope, whatever) for giving (tithe) and 10% in a special place for saving (not to be spent in the near future).
Just figure out how much you think his clothes, giving, gifts, etc. etc. should cost for a year and divide it by 12. That would be a good starting point.
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JS,
Excellent idea. In my experience, boys LOVE money, even before they really "get" it. Money has spoken to my now 13yo son when nothing else did — even when we were just talking about a quarter incentive.
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This is a great way to teach them to budget.
I have no idea how much to give. We just never gave our kids an allowance, ever. And we didn't pay them to do their chores.
We did have some chores (unassigned) that they could do to earn money. My parents also had some chores they were willing to pay for.
I do know one kid who was about 10 and getting $40 a month and boy did I want her allowance! Can you imagine what she'll get when she's 16?
I think your son will learn how to manage his budget and his money and that's cool. We just never had the extra money.
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Oh right. and on my son's 4th birthday in May, I bought him a little piggy. He loves putting coins in. I give him a few coins after grocery shopping for being good in the store I say, but he loves this and puts it in his pocket and as he gets home puts it in his piggy. From this end I'll try to get him to understand what this means as he grows.
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That's so true. I have thought about it like that too..that the allowance or some form of giving money to them that they earn, will help them know how to handle money especially in today's society.
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PK – You totally got it! The method to my madness, that is (with a kick).
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oh yes! Now they get to save to buy their own toys, they get to donate to church or school, they get to invest and have spending money for outings. They have to spread out their money so it takes a long time to get to the spending part.
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Yes, half is guaranteed no matter what and the other half has to be earned by contributing to all the chores around the house.
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Thank you guys so much for your thoughtful comments.
NOM,
I will check out that website; I'm always open to ideas and different viewpoints.
Oh, JS,
Sometimes I feel like I was raised in a different country myself, kids these days. So much entitlement being thrown around. I don't have to go with it, but I try to understand the environment my kids are saturated in and understand it, or at least work with it. Also, my hope is an allowance as a budget will better prepare him for handling finances in the Real World.
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My country never did anything like this with children, so I'm clueless to answer, However while I"ll give my kids little treats, I don't think I'll give them an allowance on a regular basis.
I feel it's paying a child to help around his home.
I feel though that if they do something different than the norm then they should get something to kinda boost them and money is ok especially if they learn to use it wisely and is saving up to get little things they really want. Maybe a good grade all year? or month?
I do like your outlook on it.
Good luck. I love that you don't just follow the mold set by society, but have really thought about it and what you'll do.
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OH and Mom Tv.com just discussed this very issue last week. Check out the video's.
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in our home I have a 20 yr old and an 8 yr old who are getting to or in this stage
My son was 16 before I allowed him to have a pay cell phone. We paid him to cut the lawn and any extra's like leaves, gutters.
House hold chores are the jobs of family members. They only get paid for extra's.
I think the deal with getting some one else to do chores and paying them is a good idea or trade for trade.
8yr is asking about extra' but is super lazy to work for it so she gets nothing.
good luck with your plan it depends on the kids if it works out.
IN my opinion kids don't need expensive gadgets like that. IF they loose it or it gets stolen who replaces it?
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